Bump & Beyond | Preparing for a Second Baby

Here comes baby No. 2!

Infirmary Health’s Bump & Beyond blog series is written by childbirth educator, Sarah Mallonee, BSN, RN, CPST. A note from Sarah:

Bump and Beyond was created after the birth of my first daughter when I took on a role as a childbirth educator at Infirmary Health. One of my privileges in writing this blog series is that I get to write about my real-life experiences–personal and professional. I have now had the opportunity to engage with and educate my community with this blog for two years! So, for those of you who have followed along, thank you for your support. And if you are just joining in, welcome! I have always said that if this blog helps even one person, it is doing its job! - Sarah Mallonee

Preparing for a Second Baby

I sat down to write today, pregnant with my second daughter, and I wanted to share some things we have been experiencing as my family gets ready to add another person to the mix. Being pregnant a second time is a bit different from the first! For some context, my daughter will turn three-years-old around the time of my due date.

I remember it being hard to move and rest in the third trimester, but my second pregnancy is a whole new ball game with a toddler around. I spend a lot of time caring for my toddler, so, inevitably I am moving, squatting, bending, and lifting more this time around. (Keep in mind, unless instructed otherwise by your Obstetrician (OB), activities you did before pregnancy are generally safe to continue during pregnancy.)

My advice to anyone who is pregnant with their second, or thinking about expanding their family, is to take it one day at a time. Some days pregnancy will be more uncomfortable than others, and you can lean on independent or relaxing activities with your toddler when needed. On some of my busier days, it has been nice to just cuddle up with my girl and have a movie night. It can also be good to reach out to your support system; ask them to spend some special one-on-one time with your child before the baby comes and give yourself a chance to rest and recoup.

Promoting Independence

While prepping for my second baby, I have been working with my daughter by encouraging her to try tasks without my help. Promoting some independence is good for her and will be helpful when the baby is born. If you haven’t already, try and promote toddler independence in smaller tasks like:

• Dressing and undressing
• Independent play
• Toileting
• Tidying up
• Bathing
• Brushing teeth
• Combing hair

Your child will grow to be more independent with these activities. But it’s also ok if your child isn’t ready or still needs assistance. You want to keep in mind tasks that are age-appropriate! For example, my daughter brushes her teeth and flosses, but I go behind her to ensure she does a good job and to avoid cavities.

Note: Some children will experience regressions with their independence (ex: potty training) when adjusting to having a sibling. This is normal and usually temporary. It is important to let your child know that it's okay to feel the way they do if they seem insecure after bringing home a new baby. Avoid scolding or criticizing them – this is a big change for everyone!

Introducing a New Baby

I also have been incorporating the new baby into conversations with my daughter. Some examples of this are, “This is such a good book. It will be fun to read this to your sister when she comes!” or “I love going on walks with you! We can bring your sister on our walks too after she is born.” For my daughter, I like reminding her that we are welcoming a new baby and helping her try to picture what that might look like. It can also be helpful to have your child around other babies if possible. You could plan a visit with a family member or a friend who has a baby to help your child get ready for their own sibling.

Consider registering your child for a sibling course to help them prepare as well. Infirmary Health offers a Super Sibling course by appointment. The course is most appropriate for children between the ages of 3-8, but a child of any age is welcome! It includes a short video about becoming a sibling, an activity book to work on with your child, and a tour of a postpartum room (if a room is available).

Experiencing Anxiety About Growing Our Family

Lastly, I want to say I have had some feelings of anxiety about introducing a new family member. I love my first child very much, so of course I have some worries about how this may make her feel. During this time, I talked to family and friends about how I am feeling. Being able to express my anxiety and having someone to listen has been a healthy way for me to cope with the idea of changing my family dynamic.

I plan to be very patient and loving with my daughter and myself during this transition. Personally, I am focusing on the happy and exciting aspects of growing our family. I consider this pregnancy to be a gift to us, and I am looking forward to seeing my child have a sibling. If you are where I am, just know you are not alone, and your feelings are valid. We’ve got this!

Bump & Beyond is a blog series from Infirmary Health to provide guidance and education to pre and post-partum moms. If you haven’t yet, check out our in-person childbirth classes and breastfeeding support group on our events page!

Learn more about the author of this blog, childbirth educator, Sarah Mallonee.